you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
