Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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