how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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