is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
