do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
