im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
