Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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