Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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