Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
