you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
