I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Two words: blizzard sex
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
