I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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