im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
