You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
