i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i think im in europe. pls send help
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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