Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
