dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
