ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just want to make out with him forever
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
