And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
