do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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