i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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