okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
