I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
