I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
