did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Less talking, more tequila
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
