still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
