pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
