Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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