32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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