babies were throwing up all over the place
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
