Im at strip club and am horny
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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