Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
