I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
