the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
