Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She needs sedatives and a leash
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
