my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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