I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my shit smells like andre
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
