Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
