Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
