sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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