The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
is wine microwaveable?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
