I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
