One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
