I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
