He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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