Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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