At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
