I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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