He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
