just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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