Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
